Stuck in a Rut? Here’s How to Forgive Yourself and Start Winning Again
4 steps to protect your mental health and productivity as a freelancer
Stop me if this sounds like you. You had work to do, deadlines to meet, and meetings to attend. But instead, you ended up as a blanket burrito with Netflix winning the battle. You told yourself it would be just a few episodes, but here it is, Friday, and you’ve done nothing since Wednesday.
Trust me, I get it. I’ve been there more times than I care to admit. Just a couple of weeks ago, I let two solid weeks slip by without doing a damn thing. I canceled meetings, blew off deadlines, and surrendered to the couch with snacks and The Umbrella Academy.
But why do we do this? More importantly, how do we stop? Can we even stop?
The Problem
We all know we have responsibilities. We have big goals and grand plans, but the small tasks to get there feel like obstacles. For me, a recurring obstacle is depression. Sometimes, it’s fear of failure or, to be blunt, a lack of self-discipline.
Maybe you’re in the same boat — struggling with doubt, anxiety, or something more serious. Whatever it is, the result tends to be the same: nothing gets done.
When I fall into this trap, I end up feeling worse. The depression deepens, the doubt creeps in. I start thinking, “This is it. I’m stuck here.” I scroll through social media and see people “crushing it,” and all I can think is, “There’s no way I’ll ever be on their level, especially when I can’t even get out of my own way.” In their shadow, I feel shame and start punishing myself.
And here’s the kicker — it’s a vicious cycle. So, what do we do when we find ourselves stuck in it?
The Solution
I won’t lie to you — I haven’t figured out how to stop procrastinating completely. But I have found a way to move through the cycle faster and get back on track: granting grace and practicing self-acceptance.
I’m talking about radical self-acceptance. Fully acknowledging and accepting a situation as it is, without trying to change or deny it, even when it’s uncomfortable. This includes accepting yourself. We all try to present this ideal version of ourselves that only exists in our minds, which sets us up for disappointment every time.
Should you just accept that you’re lazy or undisciplined? Kind of. Recognizing your faults doesn’t mean you can’t improve. You are who you are right now, and that’s okay. You’re a human being having a human experience, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Step-by-Step Guide to Digging out of the Rut
Step One: Recognize Your Humanity
Granting grace starts with giving yourself permission to be human. None of us are disciplined 100% of the time — not even the bodybuilders or the David Goggins of the world. They have moments of procrastination and self-doubt, contrary to what social media would have you believe. And that’s okay — it’s part of being human.
Take a moment to remind yourself, “I’m human, and I’m allowed to have a human experience.” Ask yourself, “Who am I to deny myself that right?”
Step Two: Practice Self-Compassion
We’re often compassionate towards others — our mom, our spouse, our friends — but when it comes to ourselves, we’re our harshest critics. I always tell my niece, “Would you say these things to a friend?” The answer is usually no. So why is it okay to speak harshly to ourselves?
If you can’t be a friend to yourself, how can you be a friend to anyone else? Give yourself the space to not be 100% all the time. When you grant yourself the freedom to fail, you often find success. Do this for yourself, and you’ll see the same.
Step Three: Set Boundaries and Prioritize Well-Being
Sometimes you don’t do what you need to because you’re just not mentally able. There’s a reason you feel the need to step back from responsibilities. Make doing so okay. It’s okay to have a mental health day, week, or even month. Remember, you became your own boss to call the shots, so stop setting expectations according to some imaginary boss who doesn’t care about what you really need.
Set the boundary: “If I’m not feeling it, I’m not doing it.” Take the time you need, and when you’re ready, get back to it. That’s okay.
Step Four: Celebrate Progress
When you do get back to things, even the small steps matter. Celebrate the wins — finishing a project, getting back into your routine, having that one meeting. These are victories. Progress is progress. Own it.
To Sum Up
It’s easy to get caught in the cycle of procrastination and self-blame, feeling like every delay is a failure. But the next time you find yourself in that spiral, take a breath and remember: this is your life. You have the right to experience it fully, with all the ups and downs. Embrace your humanity, give yourself the grace to stumble, and the space to get back up again. You don’t have to be perfect; you just have to keep moving forward, one small step at a time. Because in the end, it’s not about being flawless — it’s about being real, and that’s where your true power lies.