Imposter Syndrome Is a Scary Monster...
Happy Halloween!
Whether you love spooky season or just autumn vibes, here’s hoping you all get some cozy relaxation and yummy snacks tonight!
In case you need something to read while you sip hot cocoa or warm apple cider this evening, today I have a quick note to share from
. He wrote this a little bit ago for those of you who are running yourselves ragged with the mental battle of imposter syndrome and self-doubt.May you be encouraged and ready to face next week with a better state of mind!
Cheers,
Ceylan (OBA Studios editor-in-chief)
You have a story to tell and we want to share it!
Why Nobody Cares (And Why That’s Awesome!)
Have you been there? You’re at a networking event, prepping for a big client meeting, or, like me, gearing up to send out your first—or 99th—cold email. You obsess over your elevator pitch, have about 30 heart-to-hearts with yourself, and agonize over finding just the right words to get the results you want. You walk up to a fellow networker, deliver your best pitch, or send that email like the professional ninja you are, and…*insert airplane nose dive noise* you get nothing.
We all experience this disappointment. We all bomb. We all miss the mark. But the hardest thing to avoid is taking it personally. It’s easy to look at yourself in the throes of imposter syndrome and think, “God, I suck,” “No one likes me,” “I’m failing,” or “I’m clearly not cut out for this.” But let me offer a different perspective.
One of my mentors gave me a blunt piece of advice, which became a mantra of mine, which I’m now going to share with you. It’s going to sound insanely simple, but deceptively so: “No one thinks about you as much as you think about you.” I’ll say it louder for the folks in the back: “NO ONE THINKS ABOUT YOU AS MUCH AS YOU THINK ABOUT YOU.”
What does that mean? It means that at the end of the day, between everyone’s shopping lists, bills to pay, kids to pick up from school, next Netflix binge, and new TikTok trend, you rank probably at the bottom of their priorities. Most of the time, you’re just not a major worry for other people. We’re all obsessed with our own goals, aspirations, and pursuits, lacking the bandwidth to obsess over anything outside our immediate orbit.
Now, my mildly self-absorbed brain found this offensive. “What do you mean I’m not the focus of everyone’s universe?!” But as I thought about it, this thought is actually quite liberating. See, the world is not all about you. Which means that the client who turned you down, that fellow networker who dismissed you with a business card and a stealthy back-away to the snack table, that business owner who opened your email but completely ignored it—most likely, their rejections have nothing to do with you at all. While your imposter syndrome might be in full effect, most people aren’t obsessed enough with you to try to prove that you aren’t worthy.
This isn’t an article to cure your imposter syndrome. Rather, it’s a friendly reminder that whoever you’re worried other people think you are, they don’t worry enough about you to form a judgment against you. So get out there and be whoever you want to be. As long as you’re thinking about you, focused on improving you, and being the best version of you, then you’re winning at this entrepreneurial life. You got this!
Remember: you are seen, you are heard, and you are validated.
Jared Moses
Founder of OBA Studios
Jared@obaconnect.com