Growing Up As a Sheltered Homeschooler Helped Me Succeed As a Freelancer

How did my upbringing empower me to define my own success?

I am in my mid-20’s now, married to an amazing man, and have spent the past few years working successfully and earning a living being a part-time freelance editor and creative writer. You might be surprised, however, to hear that I grew up relatively sheltered, in a very conservative homeschool family. Once I became a young adult, I purposefully made it my goal to widen my worldview. Yet, as each year goes by, I realize just how much I truly appreciate my parents for raising me the way they did.

No parent is perfect — they are human and make mistakes, just like the rest of us. Every family has their own complicated dynamics and every child has to go through the pain of growing into an adult one way or another. But I believe in giving credit where credit is due, and I can say that there were some seriously important ways my parents did really right in raising me. I am more and more grateful for their sacrifices for me every day.

Homeschooling is not for everyone. But the method definitely helped prepare me for an incredible future of creative expression and endless career opportunities. Here’s how:

I Was Free to Pursue My Passions.

Homeschooling gave me the time and freedom to explore the subjects and art forms I was fascinated with. I deep dove into learning writing, filmmaking, animal husbandry, entrepreneurship, and so many other topics. I gained real-world skills and experience in these areas super young because I was able to spend time experimenting with projects and seeking out professional guidance. Some subjects were only passions of mine for a season, others remain with me to this day. Thanks to being homeschooled, I was able to find what kind of careers and artistic pursuits made me feel alive and DO them, before the cold, cruel world squeezed the joy out of everything.

I think that my ability to create artistically was especially boosted by this freedom. I learned how to think outside of the box and use my imagination, instead of stifling my critical thinking and coming to the same answer as a classroom full of students. I had to problem solve until I reached the correct conclusion. I find myself using this same critical thinking and creative reckless abandon to work in my field today. Some of the most successful people got where they are by saying, “What would happen if…?” or “That’s a horrible idea, let’s do it!” Being homeschooled helped me to learn the value of this attitude.

I Was Protected from Peer Pressure and Society Telling Me “No.”

I had the most ambitious, harebrained ideas growing up, and nobody told me “no.” Far from trying to bury me in reality, my parents enabled me to believe that I could achieve anything by actively helping me plan and accomplish anything I thought up. From becoming obsessed with ballet at 6 years old and wanting to put on my own production in our front yard; to creating, producing, and filming my own movies and short films with my friends by age 12; to self-publishing my own novella at 15; they never made me feel like I couldn’t achieve anything I set out to do. Sure, looking back, my efforts produced a bunch of art that makes me cringe now, but the point is: I was empowered. This allowance led me to not hold myself back, even when I only had messages steeped in immaturity to share. Growth happens through experience. I don’t think I would have grown if I was told no.

Oh! I also learned through their cheers for me that I could be proud of my work, even if my best efforts produced something that was objectively “bad.” I’ve seen many creatives struggle with imposter syndrome, or thinking their work is not good enough to put out into the world. Many freelancers never reach their full potential because they hold themselves back in doubt. I still struggle with these feelings, too! Failure–particularly epic failure–is terrifying! But I was raised to believe that if I set my mind to it, planned carefully, then put in the work, I could do anything. Of course, life came along eventually and beat those naive, hopeful assumptions out of me, yet I think it’s important for every human, at some point in their life, to experience boundlessness. Homeschool gave me that foundation.

I Discovered Good Art, Not Popular Art.

Good art is entirely subjective. Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder. That being said, I discovered and became obsessed with art that resonated with me personally. I didn’t become blind to the meaning of good art due to peer pressure to like all the same movies, songs, shows, or books as everyone else. I found my own niches and created my own definition of “classics” in my life. This perspective allowed me to understand my own purpose in making art and discover my “voice” in a unique way. If you would say that my writing is authentic, I’d like to credit my sheltered upbringing.

I won’t lie and say being sheltered didn’t ever make me feel like I was left out. It’s still a joke with almost all my friends and co-workers that I will never know any show or movie you are talking about–why do you still bother asking? Just get right to the explaining! Regardless of all the teasing, my parents helped me learn my own canon of great art that led me to finding myself. Those kind of connections last longer than any conversation.

Have a story to tell? Any knowledge or experiences you would like to share? OBA is looking for contributors!

I Learned That I Could Teach Myself Anything.

Homeschooling encourages a real love for learning. I believe this love for learning is invaluable for developing wise adults, as opposed to adults who have developed and carried a dread for learning from their childhood because of all the problems with our public school environments, especially in this country. I would say that the most important skill anyone can be taught is how to teach themselves.

By high school, I had taken charge of all my own required assignments. I was given resources, and I was taught how to find the resources I didn’t have. After graduation, I didn’t feel the need to put myself financially behind in life by taking on a load of student loans to go to college. Between the internet, masterclasses, and thrifted manuals and books, I could teach myself nearly everything I needed to know to be a freelance editor. The rest came from a gifted instinct for storytelling, which was cultivated when I was immersing myself in “good” art, and the 5+ years of experience in the indie writing and publishing industry that I was graduating with.

Sure, college may have given me different opportunities and widened my network to expedite my expanding worldview process, but I don’t feel like I missed out on anything. Except a ton of stress, financial burden, and soul-sucking burnout. Being homeschooled gave me the tools I needed to become anything I wanted to be.

I Learned Essential Interpersonal Skills.

Growing up in a large family (stereotypical of homeschoolers) and spending all day every day around them meant I was exposed to plenty of conflict. I learned how humans work through disagreements–picked up on which methods of communication were helpful for de-escalation and resolution and which weren’t. Also, helping to parent a horde of young children is very surprisingly (and unfortunately) similar to the customer service and management you end up doing a lot as a freelancer. Seriously, next time you have to tell a persnickety client “no,” imagine you’re speaking to a toddler. You may find the methods of posing a negative response as a positive one to avoid a tantrum similar.

I was also purposefully raised in close proximity with my extended family and taught the value of generational stories. From these relationships, I grew to understand early on what a powerful art storytelling was. I was taught to respect and learn from the experience of my elders, but I also learned from my many friendships how to relate to my peers and solve problems unique to our generation. I find myself drawing from these communication and listening skills, cultural histories, and observations in almost all my interactions with clients. My parents’ example instilled the values and skills I needed to work with people.

I Found My Tribe.

Everyone makes jokes about the poorly-adjusted homeschooled kids growing up to be the most awkward adults. Granted, we all have a hard time disguising ourselves from general society. I think the freedom of development and love of learning fostered for homeschoolers produces a higher quantity of the “geeks, nerds, and weirdos,” that you would typically find bullied in many public schools. But hey, I will proudly claim the title of nerd and weirdo, because I think this group is cool!

Do I still feel like a fish out of water or even an outcast in many social situations? Hell yes! But that has only motivated me to keep searching until I found good people to surround myself with. These people at OBA are truly my tribe. I don’t think anyone besides some higher power in creativity would have put us together as a likely team. We bring wildly different backgrounds, cultures, races, experiences, spiritual ideologies, and political thoughts to the table. Yet, as humans, we have so much in common. We respect each other’s different opinions and appreciate learning from each other’s diverse backgrounds. We have the most fun team meetings just getting to listen to each other’s perspectives on life and art. THIS is what our world should be. This is what WE need to build for ourselves.

I’m so grateful that my upbringing prepared me to experience this success so early in my career. I believe community is best created around art. So make your art! Bite the bullet and put it out there. Join our table and let’s share what makes us human. This discovery, in my opinion, is true success.